Balkan Barbie

Yes, Ma'am

2009-06-23T21:09:00.003-05:00

Tonight, the waiter said yes, ma'am to me. And in his eyes I knew there was an expression. He didn't always look at me directly, or intently, or timidly. It wasn't arrogance, the arrogance of flirting. I knew that I was very flattered and enjoyed it.

Lynn St Sirup Pancake Potluck

2009-05-08T23:01:00.008-05:00

Last Sunday, I attended Lynn St Sirup Pancake Potluck. Yes, the correct spelling is Syrup. The invitation reads Sirup Pancake Potluck. You are correct, I just finished writing a dissertation. I have to reproduce the form rather than the correct spelling. Perhaps the misspelling is telling of something, I don't know. I was really stressed out last Sunday, but I attended anyway, with C, A, and Baby C (BC), my cool neighbors (CN), around 10.30 am.

We sat at the end of a table. Wait, that's out of order. We arrived with our potluck participation: CN: fresh, organic, sliced strawberries, Me: de-frosted mixed berries from the grocery store. We placed the food on the buffet table (as opposed to the seating tables). I noticed on the buffet the coffee on offer, labeled "Fair Trade Organic." Why the "Fair Trade Organic" on the label... Is this something brought to the buffet by people who want to be known as cool in a specific sub-culture? It is generous of them to bring such expensive and fancy coffee.

C and I fixed our plates with pancakes and syrup. Syrup! Syrup! Syrup! It feels great to spell it correctly. At the table, we met A and BC. I enjoyed the table settings. Just random tables, and newspaper (the comics) as tablecloths. I like
the decor. Oh, and good small talk with the people sitting across from us.

After, A noted some couples at the potluck are the type of people who are married and think they are better than everyone else because they don't have kids. Hey, I thought I was better than everyone else because I'm single. No, I'm not. It is cooler to be married and not have children. They are the couple in the photo - bearded man, woman in pink shirt. Their body language is similar, as well as their hair (but the beard). Yes, I am the cause of University IRB.

I can tell you about the very pleasant people that CN and I sat across from. From which we sat across. Simply pleasant, a couple.
Me: where do you all live? I'm in the white house at the end of the street, that way (nodding behind me)
Him: She (pointing to the woman) lives up the street, in the green house.
Me: Cool. (I don't want to figure that out, they are cool, so what does it matter).

As I am leaving with CN
Me: I'm having a party next Monday, defending my dissertation. Please come by.
Her: Cool. What's your dissertation about
Me: Well, just something that's finished, you know?
Her: Smiling, I got it! See ya soon.

2009-05-08T22:57:00.000-05:00

Punctured Innertube

2009-05-01T21:46:00.005-05:00

I had a flat tire on my bike today. I knew I was in for trouble as I biked in to work in the morning, just no time to address the issue. It happened while I was living my life, teaching, meeting the two TAs.

Too proud, my bike, she falls apart in private. Lets all the air out of her back inner-tube.

I'm standing at the bike rack. Now, the rain is more than a mist, and it is a bit cool. My high heels (I anticipated biking rather than walking anywhere) and the cold rain rule out walking the bike to the shop.

I called my friend, C. She is very nice and picked me up with her enormous SUV and drove me to see the lunatic at his bike shop. My plan is to leave the bike with the lunatic, ride home in C's warm and dry SUV, and return for my bike tomorrow, when I will be calm, potentially, and the problem of the flat tire will be in correct proportion.

There is the part of the story that involves C and me lifting my commuter bike in the back of her SUV and it is funny because it took many tries and lots of repositioning. The scene is probably best re-created by a bystander. Why do I say that? Because there were a few, and none offered to help, or even pay us for the theater performance.

On to the lunatic's bike shop, I drag the bike out of the SUV and push it into the shop. Brief greeting, ask if he has time to fix my flat. Yes, and I ask if I can pick it up tomorrow. No. Ok. It will take five minutes. I return to the car to talk to C. Can she wait? She can. I told you she is nice.

Return to the lunatic, who shows me the earring that derailed my day. I have to write the edits on a dissertation, and there is no time for punctured inner tubes in the world of graduate students who are 10 days out from defending a dissertation and teaching a large enrollment course at a Big 10 University. Lunatic is the word that came to mind for the bike store owner, and I'll have to write more about him in another blog entry. I have to create a separate entry for him. I didn't expect that, because his work, such as bike assembly, looks so good. But then I have to turn back to the shop after riding for 30 min because I hear fender scraping. We discover he had successfully re-positioned the rear flashing red light so it is more visible placed on fender than it was at the back of the seat. Yet, in the process, the part that had connected the fender to the bike is sitting in the right spot on the fender, but not screwed into the bike. It really isn't his work that makes him lunatic, it is the store and his mannerisms.

Lunatic shows me the earring, and we laugh. A strange looking earring, isn't it? And we discuss an earring puncturing a tire tube is odd. It's all gonna be ok, just a punctured tube, isn't it?

We try to put the bike in C's SUV, and we can't get it in. But we can get some dirt on the back seat. I suggest I bike home instead. Yes, it is raining, so C protests. I point out that I'm headed home, which will be a 5 minute trip. I can immediately dry off and recover with my sweats. C drives away in her SUV, and I pedal my bike a few feet. I hear scraping sounds from the rear fender, I turn around, back to the shop, lunatic realigns his work, as per usual.

It's a punctured tube. An earring can't derail it. The dissertation will come to an end. I'll enjoy the last sentences.

Croatia is...

2009-04-07T19:01:00.001-05:00

Croatia is the Brazil of Europe...

Coastline
Food
Women
Football...

Vatroslav Mihacik, a football school professor and former goalkeeper, said: 'Our nickname is the Brazil of Europe because of the style we play. Conditions in Croatia are far worse than in England where you have better facilities, better pitches, experts on nutrition and physiology and so on. But we are creative. Creativity is the deciding factor in growing a good player.'

Jebem ti sve po spisku...

2009-04-07T10:09:00.003-05:00

I recommend this article in Central Europe Review:

Fuck this Article: The Yugoslav lexicon of swear words:

http://www.ce-review.org/00/41/nezmah41.html

The article is hilarious and accurate. I never adjusted to hearing the violent swearing that is part of daily life (i.e. riding the tram) in Zagreb. I did pick up the habit of saying f***, which I had to give up for Lent to break the habit. Anger is fine, but swearing might be too violent an expression. I often miss living somewhere that people are free to have their own thoughts and expressions, including the not-nice ones.

Video won't kill the radio star

2009-04-01T19:10:00.003-05:00

every time i see you falling, i get down on my knees and pray. i'm waiting for that final moment when you say the words that i can't say...

started the work day at 6am with a New Order song on the radio, ending it at 7pm the same way. erases exhaustion of the work in-between ...

I love the radio. The unexpected song. The right song. At the right time. At the unexpected time. Video won't kill the radio star.

(especially Radio Nigel dot com and 107.1 at U of Illinois)

Best Bar on the Adriatic Coast

2009-03-23T21:11:00.002-05:00

This is Buza, the best bar on the Adriatic Coast. It is in Dubrovnik, in/outside the city walls. Hanging over the opening in the city walls that leads to this bar is a sign that reads: Cold Drinks With The Most Beautiful View. And it is. Especially at sunset.

pencilnpaper: Museum of Broken Relationships

2009-03-20T13:48:00.000-05:00

pencilnpaper: Museum of Broken Relationships

My neighborhood.

2009-03-19T15:39:00.001-05:00

I walked out of my back door Sunday afternoon, on my way to my tennis match. I saw this image of my neighbor's laundry line. Of little C's overalls. The scene captured my mood that day. Life is good. Simple things are good. A spontaneous dinner the night before with good neighbors. A sport I enjoy very much. I wrote all day on my dissertation, and the writing is past the point of crisis. Winter is almost over, spring is almost here.

2009-03-04T00:11:00.001-06:00

Punk Goddess Debbie Harry in a scout's uniform on The Muppet Show. Word up.

"Desire" collage

2009-03-02T19:35:00.004-06:00

"Desire." Today in class, I lectured on Advertising Research. We discussed ZMET, in which researchers ask people a question, in this case, "what do you desire." People answer the question through making a collage on a blank piece of paper. I used a back copy of Vogue - from my bookshelf.

I explained to the students how the images represent desire for me. They accepted it, asked me questions, "What kind of dog would you like to have?" "A boxer, I had two when I was little, Rex and Max. His name would be Rex, and ... we would be best friends." "What is your ideal man like." "The right time, right place, and he feels he is good enough." Felt great to take this sort of risk, opening up a bit.

Also, I know from my dissertation research and my friends' work that collage is important for research, so I wanted to show how much you can tell from the images.

I'm looking at mine now, and all the relationship/feelings are on one side: enduring love, relationship with a pet. Enduring love.

On the other side are experiences: travel to Argentina and Croatia (coast) to see family, but also to see parts of Argentina that I haven't seen before. I have the image of the Mediterranean and an olive to represent the way of life: the art of doing nothing, laughter and love. Sun, salt, sea.

In the background is a house; I desire a house: a home, really. I want it to have built-in wood bookshelves with nice details in the cabinetry, and cool books and art. The bookshelves, the books, represent creativity to me: writing as self-expression and as part of my job/work. I want my house to be cozy and interesting. I want to have flowers and to feel serene.

In the middle, that's me. The tennis player, I want to improve my game, and to continue it. I'm proud I've kept up my hobbies in spite of my work obligations. I selected this model because she looks like a grown, adult woman. She is pretty and has a nice figure, she is elegant and feminine, and she seems self-assured, but not arrogant or unsure of herself. She knows who she is and that brings contentment. I think she looks like a successful professional.

The students will have an assignment of making their own "desire" collages and writing about them. I'm thinking I might make the theme "pride" instead.

I don't know how to title this; I'll go with: "Signs"

2009-02-27T19:50:00.010-06:00

It is Friday. I'm in South Bend to look at houses. It is three months after my interview at Notre Dame.

I checked in and walked to my hotel room a few minutes ago. I passed by the hotel dining room, and heard a girl crying and talking in an anguished tone. I glanced over, and some girls were sitting in rows there, looking at a woman at the front of the room.

I imagined saving teen girls from drugs or the devil in general workshop/weekend. I went back to my business, and then remembered all the tennis racket bags on the floor by the front door. I remembered the lady I greeted as I waited at reception; Polish, a mother of a UNC player, here from Carmel IN; oh, they lost. That is why the mother is waiting, that is why the girl is crying. This makes much more sense, this is familiar. The scene is comforting.

I'm in the right place; I'm on the right side.

Maybe you see yourself in this. The tenderness of a memory of yourself as younger, and the satisfaction of the present tense.

Homemade Soup (Dissertation excerpt)

2009-02-24T09:22:00.003-06:00

I like publishing on this blog the sections of my dissertation that I know will have to be cut. I especially like the voice I found for writing this more reflective part and I really like returning to a place I love as I read this. Enjoy.

“Coming to Zagreb to study display cabinets (vitrina) is like going to Saudi Arabia to study sand.” That is how my friend Dalibor N. gave me his approval of my fieldwork while we were watching people at a café on Flowers Square, one Zagreb Saturday morning. Every aspect of the vitrina in your mother’s or grandmother’s home calls up scenes in the mind’s eye and evokes feelings. The vitrina is the backdrop for silence of the room, the apartment, the building, the neighborhood, the city, Sunday from 2pm to 5pm. You, your family, your neighbors, your friends: everyone is at home, it is time for lunch. In the living room, in the apartment building, in the neighborhood, in the city, in the suburb: silence. At least there are some sounds in the house. The water boiling for potatoes on the kitchen stove gurgles until Mom adds the potatoes. The newspaper rattles as Dad flips through it. Your sister, receiving the last text message before lunch. The snaps as the tram makes contact with its electric cable, the squeaks and sparks as the metal wheels grinding on the tracks; during the week, it fades in with the whistle of the traffic policy, the car horns and squeaking tires and engines without mufflers in Zagreb’s choking transport arteries. Right now, tram 6 and a few other lines are the only cells moving, carrying nothing but tram drivers and a few tourists shuttling between the center square and the train station; they must be disappointed they can not watch people today, or go to the shops of museums; maybe they are glad to have the statues, streets, parks, and views to themselves: Saturday is for meeting friends for coffee, a mass of local men and women strutting as if the sidewalks and cafes were a series of catwalks. Sunday is for family. Perhaps in the morning, there is Mass and then shopping for food to prepare for lunch, or a hike on a nearby mountain such as Sljeme, but certainly for family lunch in the afternoon.

On a late Sunday morning, I step on the sidewalk outside my building, and walk past the first few windows and I smell soup. All the way down my street, towards the park, I smell soup; I decide the same soup must be cooking in every pot on every stove in every kitchen in every apartment in every apartment building on my route. Perhaps in every neighborhood: in Britanski Trg where I live, in Špansko and Zapreseć where new apartment buildings are still being built, for all the people who have moved here since the war, in Jarun where my Dad’s best friends from childhood moved in the late 1980s. Yes, it must be so, since I’ve eaten the soup at the start of Sunday lunch at every meal I’ve been to, all over town. On my way back home from the park, I hear the clink -clink -clink of stainless steel soup spoons against porcelain or china soup bowls. Every person at every table in every dining room or kitchen or living room, however their old or new, refurbished or neglected, small or large apartment is set up to delineate a space for a table and vitrina, is eating lunch, starting with soup. As an informant, Matija, a Female Middle Class Marshal said of her family’s practices, “Nothing without homemade soup first.” Her daughter, Sara, added, “Homemade soup, with a lot of vegetables.”

Random Photos: bumper stickers

2009-02-23T17:31:00.003-06:00

Bumper sticker in the parking lot of Schnuck's, Urbana, IL, today...

First time I've ever seen this message or campaign. Interesting.

Breakfast for Dinner

2009-02-19T16:28:00.001-06:00

There is one correct breakfast: egg boiled for 5 minutes, toast, coffee (tea is also ok).
Bacon at breakfast: a way to suspend the start of the day.
Breakfast for dinner: I can't put anything else together, so I'm making luxuries (pancakes), especially meaningful since the alternative is usually not a luxurious food (pasta with olive oil, good but not a luxury).
Cereal? Grains in such a form is food for a chicken or pig. Although I think oatmeal is a nice mid-morning snack.

Movie Review: The Wackness (2008)

2009-02-17T09:04:00.002-06:00

The Wackness (2008) is a good movie. I know because I watched it. I also know I saw myself in the characters in the movie. When I was in high school, graduating in 1991, my boyfriend was from Brooklyn. The main character reminds me of him. The Wackness is a coming-of-age story. What makes it a coming-of-age story? His heart is broken by Stef, his girl, his best friendship and best relationship is with a person whom we would not expect, and he is more grown-up than his parents.

Oh, and the music is great. It captures the moments in the film. It also captures the period. East Coast hip-hop. Something entirely new. A new sound, a new generation. No, not the first one that grew up with immature parents, or heartache, and so on. But there was something about that period that I remember. I remember how unique it was.

If you were born in 1991...

2009-02-09T13:24:00.003-06:00

Today in class, I asked the students when they were born (1991). I asked them what were the influences on their years in high school:

Columbine (high school shootings across the US)
Oklahoma City attack
9/11
Reality TV
Boy bands (Hanson)
Britney Spears
Bill Clinton

That's a lot of violence to experience, at the individual and societal levels. Pop culture goes very low culture. Lots of attention on teens to make it big. President defines standards for men's responsibility, activity, in sex and relationships.

I'm Gen X. Our worries were more along the lines of nuclear war destroying humanity, pot, stds. Much less violence. Much less pressure to make it. I wouldn't say we didn't have "real" problems, or we didn't know how good we had it, although that is tempting. I'm stunned, though, at the violence Gen Y faced as high school students. It is very foreign to my experience.

The Snuggie

2009-02-08T15:23:00.005-06:00

Today's post falls is a photo of an in-store display of the Snuggie at my local Wallgreen's. It falls in the category of posting photos of things I see when I'm out shopping...

There is a back story to the Snuggie, will fill out the rest of the post soon...

I'm back, thank you for waiting...

2009-01-22T23:19:00.002-06:00

Sometimes you are browsing google for images to use in powerpoint - ie an ad for a lawnmower to illustrate a point about household as a really broad product category - and you come across gems that you can't use in class but at the same time find intriguing and so you post them to facebook. This is a morotcycle with a john deer engine.

This Time of Year

2008-12-11T09:26:00.002-06:00

I feel empty. It has been a year of huge losses and a huge gain and huge changes. Some structural, some internal. Jobs, relationships. How I see who I am.

I tried to fill the empty feeling with activities: tennis, crafts, socializing. Feelings demand their own time with you. They will not tolerate dismissive attitudes and approaches. They won't be pushed aside. They won't be treated with a systematic approach. They know you are reluctant to face them, they call you to be courageous rather than fearful.

I don't want to face them alone, but I am not in a position or a personality that would easily "share" them with others. There is the feeling of pressure to perform emotionally. I had a huge success and I like to share it with others, and some people are kind and understand the prices I have paid to achieve this success, and I can just feel they understand and they don't force me to talk about the other side of success, but I can share that with them. This is nice.

I can't really expect other people who might not have had huge successes to want to talk about any of this with me. I am afraid of envy, of alienating people, or of hearing judgments about my feelings.

The thing is, about feelings, one must understand them on one's own. Music can accompany a person. So, I asked my local music store owner to assist me. He suggested several albums for the situation, and here they are:

The Smashing Pumpkins, Adore
The Cure, 4:13 Dream
Bright Eyes, "Cassadaga"
Liz Phair, "Exile in Guyville"

So far, so good. It is working. I don't feel better, but I don't want to right now. I will in time for my Birthday in about two weeks. In time for the sun to start shinning a bit more every day. And then I can enjoy closing the door on 2008.

New Bike

2008-11-02T10:15:00.000-06:00

I really like my new bike!!!! I picked it up Friday 10/31/08. (That's Christian W., my neighbor, in the foreground. His mom, Christa W., took the photo with my cell phone).
My bike is a Bianchi Cortina 21" Metalic Silver hybrid, wheel size 700c. I bought it for transportation/commuting to work (campus) and errands (I like close to two groceries, the post office, the library, the coffee shop etc). I'll have the fenders and racks installed soon. Bikeworks assembled the bike in time for me to ride it this weekend, it is probably the last warm weekend we'll have for a while (they don't know about my dissertation chapter deadlines that kept me indoors Saturday and probably will all day today). I rode home from Bikeworks on Friday shouted at the first pedestrian I saw, he looked like an undergrad into the hip hop scene - "hey, I got a new bike!!" And he gave me thumbs up.

Someday I'd Like My Own...

2008-10-08T09:57:00.003-05:00

Someday, I'd Like My Own ... Tugboat! And I would anchor it on the bank of the Ohio River, at the port of Paducah, KY.

Jokes: Battle of the Sexes

2008-10-07T13:07:00.003-05:00

I'll add jokes to my writing genre.

There are 3 men working on a tall building. They go to lunch and the first guy opens his lunchbox and sees a salad, He says.. "damb it! if my wife makes mea salad for lunch one more time im just going to jump off this building and kill myself."

The second guy opens his lunchbox and sees a sandwich. He also says, "if my wife make me another sandwich for lunch, I’m going to jump off of this building with you!"
The third guy opens his lunchbox and sees chicken, which he is also tired of, So he goes on to says " if my wife makes me some more chicken for lunch, i’m going to jump off of this building with you guys."

At the funeral home, the first wife goes up to speak. She says, "If I had known he didn’t want a salad for lunch, I wouldn’t have made him any, I’d have chosen something else... and went off crying...

The second wife gets up to say, "If I had known that he didn’t want another sandwich for lunch, i too would have chosen something else... she also went off crying...

The third wife then comes and stand in front of everyone without a tear on her face and says...

"Don’t look at me, he makes his own lunch..."

My political past.

2008-10-03T08:17:00.005-05:00

I guess that we have been friends long enough for me to tell you about the time I led a Partzian Women's Brigade. Or maybe it is seeing Sarah Palin in the media that inspired me to tell you about this. I was the sefica at the Pecko shoe factory in Zagreb on Nova Ves (the building is now the shopping mall, Kaptol Centar). Here I am with Ankica to my left. We're in Samobor on a Sunday outing. I did that all the time, take the whole factory and their families for Sunday outings, and the factory paid for everything. I am the first female factory director in all of Croatia and the ex-Yugoslav territories, for that matter. You can see the tension and jealousy in Ankica's face, even though I gave them such handsome uniforms and hats. I innovated shoe production of the healthy shoes that women who work wear. No, not spiked Cesare Pacoti shoes worn by sminkarica. Those healthy shoes worn by women who work blue-collar jobs, for example, preparing food in the canteen in the basement of the Philisophski Fakultet. I gave up my political career, though, and moved to Cordoba, Argentina. There, I finished my PhD in Mechanical Engineering. Yah, I know.

What I Did Last Night, or, Punch Brothers Featuring Chris Thile

2008-09-10T11:42:00.008-05:00

At The Canopy Club (canopyclub.com) last night, I saw Punch Brothers featuring Chris Thile. You know that I like the mandolin.

I had seen Chris Thile a few
years ago, before his rise to fame.

This show, the band played songs from a new album. I guess that is why
they seemed self-conscious. The music seemed to follow their script.
Chris monitored the other players, when they would come in and out of
the songs, and signaled them as well. I know that is standard, but he
also seemed ready to jump on them for missing. They responded to him,
especially joining in as the audience responded to songs, but also
seemed like they were familiar with his bossy side. Maybe that comes
with the role of leader of the band, but he seemed less expansive last
night. For the last three songs, though, they let the music flow and
gave each other room to play their instruments and find their timing.
The whole show was good, but that was the best part.

Wolfgang Vogel, Spyswapper, 1925-2008 (RIP)

2008-08-31T11:12:00.003-05:00

Here is Vogel's quote about his life as a Spyswapper, "I was neither a resistance fighter nor a good Samaritan. My paths were neither white nor black. They had to be grey, otherwise it would not have worked." Does it mean the Cold War?

The brilliant thing about Vogel is that he kept the system going, but he did not become a martyr or a victim.

Here is the obituary of Wolfgang Vogel from the Financial Times (Aug 30/31, 2008, p. 8). His nickname was "The Devil's Lawyer."

Does every political era have its moral order? What is ours? Who (what) is in the middle of the "war on terror," keeping it going by doing its dirty work, work it denounces by day?

Break Dance

2008-08-28T16:03:00.001-05:00

The oft-talked about NYC Breakers poster on display at Exile on Main Street. Found in a 1983 K-Tel Records compilation aptly named Breakdance.

From the web site of the people who supply my CD player, Exile on Main St.

New Year

2008-08-27T09:33:00.003-05:00

I think New Year comes around twice a year. We have the conventional one on January 1. Then, there is the one that starts as summer moves into fall, as school starts, as the weather cools, as you face your routines, as your face who you are again. You face your mortality as the leaves fall and the grass dies and the flowers die and one part of yourself asks the other part if you are gonna finish off these last four months any better than the last eight, or is it already over?

The thing about the "Back To School" New Year is that it is private, so you don't have to let anyone know what is going on in your head, and you don't have to pretend to take change seriously or, if you do, you don't have to pretend to be "positive" or full of hope about it. You can be exhausted and angry, that is fine. There is no emotional script or role you have to fill. So just keep on going that way for a few months.

Paris Hilton for President!

2008-08-08T08:59:00.003-05:00

Paris Hilton for President (click here to watch video).

The line, "I'll tell you about my energy policy, right after I read this article about where to fly to to get the best tan!" They are playing the national anthem in the background! Paris Hilton is brilliant. This is the perfect response to the McCain ad because it is a "thank you" for putting my name out there in a new arena - I was looking for something to do this fall. As always with Paris Hilton, she is playing smart and stupid and cunning. Brilliant. It is also a spoof. And she's having fun. And it is fun to watch.

Lotion

2008-07-29T08:54:00.001-05:00

Greenskeepers - Lotion - Lyrics

I'm looking down the hole
You're looking up at me
You're cold and tired
that is easy to see
Lower the rope to you
a bucket and a light
Your membrane will be soft and smooth
and your heart will be mine.

It rubs the lotion on its skin
Or else it gets the hose again
It rubs the lotion on its skin
Or else it gets the hose again
Yes Precious, it gets the hose . . .

Wooooooo, oooh, oooh.
Wooooooo, oooh, oooh.

The look inside your eyes drives me from control
Evoking visions of my favorite casserole.
And if I eat your heart
I'll also bite your soul
And when I'm done with that
I'll use your skull as a bowl.

It rubs the lotion on its skin.
Or else it gets the hose again.
It rubs the lotion on its skin.
Or else it gets the hose again.
It gets the hose.
It puts the lotion in the basket.
It puts the lotion in the basket.
It puts the lotion in the basket.
Yes it does . . .
Put the lotion in the basket
Put the lotion in the basket . . .
Put the lotion in the basket . . .
. . . and it does.

Wooooooo, oooh, oooh.
Wooooooo, oooh, oooh.

The night is very cold
I'm feeling kind of weak.
I think I'll make myself a cap from your right buttock's cheek.
And then I will go walking with my little dog.
And then I'll bury you underneath the lawn.

It rubs the lotion on its skin.
Or else it gets the hose again.
It rubs the lotion on its skin.
Or else it gets the hose again.
Yes it does Precious..
It puts the lotion in the basket.
Bitch, put the lotion in the basket.
Ohh, put the lotion in the fucking basket
Bitch, put the lotion in the basket.


Wooooooo, oooh, oooh.
Wooooooo, oooh, oooh.

Cross River Swim First Place Female Paducah Summer Festival

2008-07-28T09:29:00.003-05:00

Radovan Karadzic

2008-07-22T22:36:00.004-05:00

Radovan Karadzic. Captured. Riding a city bus. In Belgrade. July 21, 2008. He had been practicing alternative medicine there under the name Dragan Dabic. He gave a lecture, “How to nurture your own internal energy” and contributed to Healthy Life magazine. Karadzic organized the 43 month long siege of Sarajevo 1992-1195. Karadzic organized Srebrenica, 1995. I heard on the radio this morning, NPR, that, in Belgrade, the indicted war criminal “disguised himself with a beard.” Yes, I suppose he went unnoticed in Belgrade. Just another bearded man with an instinct to kill.

“This is a very important day for the victims who have waited for this arrest for over a decade. It is also an important day for international justice,” Serge Brammertz, head prosecutor at The Hague. I am sure that the victims stopped waiting for the arrest years ago. Karadzic’s arrest took 13 years. It seems only the “international community” has been waiting for the arrest for over a decade. Actually, they have been waiting for the arrest by Serbs for over a decade. It has also been said that it took a pro-EU government to allow this change. So, the arrest could have happened earlier, justice could have happened earlier, but the international community wanted it to happen not in a just manner, but just so. News reports indicate international agencies assisted local forces in organizing the arrest. If the arrest had to come from the Serb government, as international law enforcement officers believe it did, then I must ask, why is this an important day for international justice? It seems to be an important day for international groups that want Serbia to advance. Specifically, advance to the EU. Without fully negotiating its past.

The Serbian police squeezed this in after the European Cup, right before their holidays on the sea coast. Or the international police forces squeezed this in while most of the forces were on their annual holiday, and just a few were left to work with.

Holbrook, who “negotiated” the Dayton Accords of 1995, called Karadzic "a real, true architect of mass murder." Real and true are positive words. We may hear them in an advertisement to describe the taste of a filtered cigarette in the 1950s. Not for Karadzic. Karadzic is evil. Former Secretary of State Madeleine Albright told NPR that Karadzic's arrest is "extremely significant." "He really is the person who was behind the systematic ethnic cleansing — murder — of several hundred thousand Bosnians," she says. "It does show that justice will prevail."

It does not show that justice will prevail. It does show that politicians will say things that mean “let’s forget we allowed him to massacre hundreds of thousands of people, many of them poor Muslims, and then let him go for 13 years. Let’s just concentrate on how this is not a continuation of the war and connecting the war to EU accession, even though we saw we want peace and reconciliation in the region.”

This is what the US press, at least NPR said, "What NATO couldn't do for 10 years, apparently the crack Serbian police did," NPR's Tom Gjelten noted Monday, in an on-air conversation with Robert Siegel. The crack Serbian police. Daj, molim te. I am not listening to NPR anymore. http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=92762470&ft=1&f=1004

This is a pretty good news article about Karadzic: http://www.theaustralian.news.com.au/story/0,25197,24063046-28737,00.html by Jamie Walker.

Yes, I am angry about it.

Book Report: Boomsday

2008-07-20T05:41:00.003-05:00

During a layover in Chicago's O'Hare Airport, waiting to return from Boston, I passed some time in the bookstore. I usually pass my layover time here. It is not a fancy bookstore, but it does have a good selection of good, contemporary works, and here is where I picked up my first Jose Saramango book, Balthasar and Blimunda. I read this book in 2004, on my way to Dubrovnik, where I finished reading the book and left it behind for the next visitor to the guest house. Saramango is now one of my favorite writers.

This time, I found Christopher Buckley's "Boomsday" (2007). I read in the writer's notes that he finished writing in July 2006, so two years before I picked it up. The book lay on a table of current fiction. I often find that the voice and story of current fiction can be too pseudo-spiritual and moralistic for me. For example, I liked "Little Children" but it is a haunting critique, and although it might be dead-on and maybe even needed ... can't we do more than read about how messed up other people are and how much better we are? It is too contemporary, caught in a moment in US society/culture/politics/economy, without enough connection to it. Can't we do more than talk about how immoral and spoiled people are? What is interesting is the human experience, and
that book seemed, at times, limited to criticism of how people live and struggle and give in, without the humanity of it, just the positioning of good and bad.

And here is what is great about "Boomsday." The satire is the form of criticism. It is about the system. And it is hilarious, especially on page 288. The characters human and complex enough. They are no better or worse than any one else. So, go read it.

Best Tree House ... Ever

2008-07-16T07:36:00.008-05:00

This is the best tree house ... ever. It is in the front yard of my parents' across the street neighbors. It was new to me on my recent visit home. I saw it and understood I would climb up to the tree house. I didn't ask any questions, not if or why, not how and when, not about the neighbors. I understood the moment would reveal itself.

I was up to the occasion. It was 2am on a Saturday and I was barefoot and wearing a short dress. The finale to a social evening. Let's take a minute to put the picture together. I used the wood planks nailed to the tree to climb up to the tree house. The nail on the top plank came loose as I was pulling myself up. A force stronger than gravity pulled me up on deck. My heart pounding. I was in the tree house now. Yah, my instinct was right on about this.

Sorry, this is not the best photo ... ever.

The tree house is a large "deck" built around the trunk and a large branch. They say a contractor built it.

Happy Canada Day!

2008-07-01T22:11:00.001-05:00

Happy Canada Day! (July 1). I heard on the radio that today is Canada Day. It has already been a few weeks ago that I was in Boston to present research at a marketing/advertising professor/graduate student conference. At dinner with two of my good friends who live in Montreal and Toronto, Z and M, when discussing Z's upcoming move, the topic came up of how people heat homes in Canada - forced air, radiators...they said Canada runs on hydroelectric power, mostly. Then we were wondering if Canada has nuclear capabilities. Well, the answer is yes (ie Toronto). If you dig a bit deeper, you will find out the secret of our quiet neighbor to the North. Canada has vast uranium resources. I'm just sayn'.

Souvenirs from New England

2008-06-30T09:06:00.004-05:00

The trip was lovely, some work at the Consumer Culture Theory Conference, some time visiting with friends in Beverly.

Back to work today...

On the Road

2008-06-21T07:54:00.001-05:00

Dear Readers,
I am traveling in New England a bit and will be back with you next week.
Balkan Barbie

Deutschland - auf Wiedersehen!

2008-06-14T12:01:00.001-05:00

The Croatia-Germany game has left me emotionally exhausted. And Croatia plays Poland today, while I am on a flight - perhaps it is for the best that I have a break from watching one of Croatia's European Cup games.

When I started watching the Croatia-Germany game, I analyzed it this way: if Croatia scores a goal, that is an accomplishment. If Croatia wins, that is a decisive accomplishment in the history of the Croatian National Football Team.

At about 15 minutes into the game, I realized the Croatian side was passing the ball into space, creating space, crossing the field, and closing down Germany's sides. I thought, hmm, maybe I was too conservative in my estimates. But, maybe not, we'll see, I still expected Germany to score first. I was also pleased that hadn't happened. I think Croatia played rather composed, which helped. Croatia was not the underdog in the game, they were not the least favorite.

Then at around 18 minutes, I realized Croatia was creating momentum and that they would probably score. I just hoped that, if they scored first, they could continue the challenge - they would not be content with that. They needed to keep playing as if they had nothing to loose.

Then Croatia scored, and I realized that we would probably win the game. That was my instinct. It was a beautiful goal. I kept hoping we would score again, at the end of the half, but it did not materialize, in spite of some very good looks at the goal. So, I had the feeling we would win, but I did not like seeing some of the lost chances.

Then, Croatia scored in the second half. It was euphoria - it was a declaration that the first half was not an accident. It was a declaration we were taking risks and we could execute plays. We had confidence. Germany scored - their adding the substitute helped them - and they took the momentum for a few moments - but Croatia slowed their sides. Croatia's footwork and passing was very strong. The players also managed the space on the field to their advantage. I think Croatia's side won many individual tackles, and that added up to the team's advantage.

I liked watching the manager, Slaven Bilic. I liked it when he lost his religious charm and he picked it up on the ground and kissed it in a ritualistic way to cleanse it from the ground and then placed it in his pocket. I found out after that the charm / object has the image of Pope John Paul II. I have no idea if Bilic is a devout Catholic, it does not matter, it is cool that Bilic did that.

It was exciting to watch, I ended the day feeling as if I had witnessed history. Sports history, perhaps that is not the history of textbooks. It is the history of the popular imagination. There is a feeling of pride. There is a feeling, we are part of Europe, we can contend, this shouldn't be a surprise.

Croatia 2: 1 Germany

2008-06-12T14:32:00.006-05:00

Slaven Bilić, Croatia coach
"It was a great match and I would like to extend special congratulation to my players, not only for battling hard but also for playing excellent football. There is no other way to beat Germany than to play well. They are a great team and are still one of the title favourites. You cannot allow them to control any part of the pitch and that's how we tried to play against them. For me, this victory is a bigger achievement than beating England at Wembley. I keep getting questions about similarities between this team and the team I played in in 1998. All I can say is that we are Croatians, we play for our fans but we are not the only team who play like this. It was the same in 1998 and it's the same now. We are always emotional, we cannot change that. Even if we wanted to, we don't want to. There are coaches who stay in the dugout and those like me who are more active. I like to take part by giving advice and by being as close as possible to the pitch. Every team here, apart from Switzerland because they have been eliminated, can win the title. The difference in modern football is very small. As for Luka Modrić, he was already a star before this tournament. I keep telling him that he is the best player in Europe but he's not the only great player in our team. My team prove to me day in, day out, in training and out on the pitch that they are world class. " from http://www.euro2008.uefa.com/tournament/matches/match=300693/report=rw.html

thanks for the photo - http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport2/hi/football/euro_2008/7374367.stm

EURO 2008: Croatia Austria Results

2008-06-09T16:51:00.004-05:00

Croatia 1:0 Austria, Croatia earned its 3 points!

Oh, but Croatia, why did you not score at the end of the first half? Why did you play that way in the second half? Please, don't do that again.

Some cheers from you hear in the stadium when Croatia plays in EURO 2008 :

"Jebo te koliko nas ima (Damn how many of us there are here) while another is about how few Croats there are in the world generally: Malo nas je al nas ima/Nije vazno strusit ce mo snove svima (We’re not many, but it doesn’t matter/ We’re capable of destroying anybody’s dreams)"*.

*From the web site When Saturday Comes

EURO 2008 Championship

2008-06-06T08:52:00.004-05:00

Today's Financial times, US Edition, page 6, covered the upcoming EURO 2008 with the article, "Host countries make a play to shake off fusty image." This quote sums up the excitement and the historical meanings of the Championship games in Klagenfurt and the group that includes Austria, Croatia, Germany, and Poland:

"Having Poland, Croatia and Germany all in one group is unfortunate from a security point of view. Sticking them in Klagenfurt is absolute nonsense, says a seasoned observer. "At least England is not competing, which is a relief."

The EURO 2008 Championship opens this weekend. The schedule for the Croatian National Soccer Team (HNS) is: Saturday 8th, Austria vs. Croatia. On the 12th, Germany vs. Croatia, and on the 16th, Poland vs. Croatia.

My prediction is Croatia will win its group with a crushing victory over Germany and possibly the Championship as well, under the leadership of coach Slaven Bilic.

Today's Financial Times listed these winning odds:
Germany 4:1
Spain 5:1
Italy 7:1
Portugal 7:1
France 8:1
Croatia 12:1
Netherlands 12:1
Czech 16:1
Russia 22:1
Greece 25:1
Switzerland 25:1
Sweden 33:1
Turkey 33:1
Poland 40:1
Romania 40:1
Austria 100:1

By the way, in the US, the games early in the Championship are broadcast on ESPN 2. The final rounds will be on ABC.

Book Report: "No One Belongs Here More Than You"

2008-06-03T07:27:00.007-05:00

Right now, I am reading "No One Belongs Here More Than You" (2008) by Miranda July.

The book is a collection of short stories about intimacy. Touching, humorous, disturbing, easy to read. The author's voice is good and she treats her weird characters with compassion. Very good to read anytime, the pages and time flies by. Well written, with good plots, it isn't cheap, but it isn't a grand commitment to read the entire book, either.

Maybe it is a summer book because it is about emotions and how they drive us. We usually think of summer books as emotional. We think of summer as a time for expressing heightened emotions, perhaps a time out of time, or maybe a time for play, the only season we allow play and emotion.

The book is on Amazon.

You might know the author from the movie, "Me and You and Everyone We Know" (2005). July wrote, directed, and starred in the movie.

New Sign

2008-06-02T07:48:00.002-05:00

Antlers

2008-05-23T07:28:00.004-05:00

Thank you, my friends, C., E., and J., for the antlers. The antlers makes my house feel very cool! I am working on how and where to mount them, but for now, the are proudly on the bookshelf.

Consumer Culture and Religion (Text is below image)

2008-05-22T08:57:00.005-05:00

Byers Vaccum, 77 East University Avenue, Champaign, IL 61801

I took this photo on May 21, 2008, at 6.30pm with my Nokia 5300 cell phone.

I have driven past this store countless times as it is on a busy street I drive to go to downtown Champaign, where friends and I often meet. And of course, I also pass it on the way back home. Yesterday, my neighbors and I drove to Jupiter's to pick up a pizza, which we ate on my back patio (very nice). I was the front seat passenger in my neighbor C.'s SUV, riding as the "shotgun" passenger is a great experience if you are usually driving in your own car . We approached this store, and as we were passing it, I was eye level with the window, and somehow, I opened my turtle shaped tiny purse and took out my camera phone and asked my friend to please slow down so I could take a photo and she did! and the car behind us honked. The neighbor's husband, A. and 6 month old baby, C. were in the back seat of the car, and he was saying, yes, right on. I asked my neighbor, C., could we please circle around again so I can take a better shot, and she said, yes, sure! And C. circled around and entered traffic - without waiting for a red light, the store is at an intersection with a light - and we sat in front of the store, with the hazard lights blinking as cars sat behind us, and C. said, "My hazards are on, you can go around!" An excited and tense emotion in the car, A. said taking this photo is similar to shooting when he was a Marine, the tension waiting for the right moment. And I got it and we were so excited.

Forgotten Baby Dolls

2008-05-21T09:27:00.005-05:00

Sometimes I see unexpected scenes when I am in the parking lot of mega-stores and I capture the scene on my camera phone (I like the Nokia 5300 I use).

Usually, Target has the most incidences of the unexpected. Here are two photos from yesterday's trip to Target.

2008-05-06T23:43:00.004-05:00

I read a news report that the reported incidents of domestic abuse in Croatia is on the increase. That is abuse of women by men. Reported to the police.

Now, I am not for domestic abuse of anyone by anyone.

I am glad to see the reported incidents of abuse are up. It is better than, say, the incidents of women telling their neighbors the bruises on their face are from falling down the stairs or hitting their head on a door.

I hope that something good comes out of reporting abuse to the police. Ok, I know it won't stop abuse between two people. Not that I have been hit, or hit anyone. Relationships have a dynamic of their own, and sometimes, well, we don't really act in our own self-interest. And I have read that accusation, shame, humiliation, and violence go together. It is a dynamic spread across both parties. And it can be hard to see it.

Perhaps if it is a crime, and it is enforced, there might be some hesitancy to beat your spouse. Perhaps it is just enough to say, "I think it is a good idea that the police can be called on sexual harassment or domestic violence," and not have to rationalize it or think of the assumed consequences of it. Yes, indeed, it is enough to be glad that people can't beat each other in their homes and that people can work without harassment.

Happy Your Life as a Peasant Woman in a Balkan Village Day

2008-05-06T01:20:00.000-05:00

this is the continued pencilnpaper blog

2008-05-04T12:53:00.000-05:00

Hi pencilnpaper friends,

Thank you for taking the journey with me over to Balkan Barbie! Enjoy. More posting later today.

xoxo

Welcome

2008-05-04T12:45:00.000-05:00

Hi, pencilnpaper is now at balkanbarbie!